I Am Still Here…Really!

It’s been kind of sparse around here, I know. I was sick most of the month of December where I learned that antibiotics can make you well and more ill at the same time. I got better. Christmas came. Christmas went. Six hour drive to family for New Years. Six hour drive back.

Dale’s leg hurts. Then swells.

Go for transplant check up. (90 mile drive to DTI) Sonogram on leg. Go to hospital. Swelling due to very large blood clot. Admit Dale. Drive 90 miles home to pack. Drive 90 miles back. Stay for the weekend.

Frequent blood draws to check levels. I’m talking like three in the A.M. blood draws…

They accidentally had him on a diabetic diet. He is NOT diabetic. Food was low sodium (as in no salt) and diabetic so very little sugar. I question the whole hospital diet thing however. It was pretty carb heavy. It was not heavy on flavor. Grumpy husband food.

Then there is the chair bed. Or bed chair. Actually both are incorrect. It is neither a good chair nor a good bed. Just saying. It was not comfortable 4 years ago and while technology marches forward at a very rapid rate, hospital furniture design does not improve with time.

Came home from the hospital. Went to get prescriptions filled. One prescription – ONE WEEK supply – generic mind you, 200 dollars.

Call “insurance pharmacy that shall not be named”. Yes this is the price. No it doesn’t matter what pharmacy – UNLESS you use THEIR pharmacy through mail order. Yes the insurance company and the pharmacy are together. Just like this (insert imagination picture of fingers crossed over each other) Okay. It will be about 59 dollars for one month. (Keep in mind that they are also the ones who dictate the price of retail….not that I am ungrateful for the major price difference of about 700 dollars which is a lot of hamburger) Got the doc to change the prescription over of to the “insurance pharmacy that shall not be named”.

Checking the website, looking at the dates and adding up the time it normally takes to process, then the number of days it normally takes to deliver and I am disturbed because this looks very close and I would like to NOT pay another 200 dollars for another week for this prescription. Call “insurance pharmacy that shall not be named”. The lady was very nice. She put an URGENT code on it. Said if I didn’t hear from them in about 24 hours to check back.

24 hours later. Check the website. Still processing. Call “insurance pharmacy that shall not be named”. They need some more clinical information from the doc. It is now after five. Try calling the doc but of course the office is closed. Call “insurance pharmacy that shall not be named” back. Talk to a new person. Put through to a pharmacist. Explain the situation. Get through everything (what it is taken in conjunction with, why it is being taken, how long, how often testing will be done) and he is going to go ahead and put it through. He asks my title. My title as in my title at the DOCTOR’S OFFICE…. oops. I explain that I did not mean to impersonate anyone – this is just not my first rodeo, I take notes, ask questions, and I have GOOGLE for heavens sake. We are four years out from transplant and this is the first hospitalization. We are ninjas!

I think someone is getting yelled at.

Still going to expedite it with me promising I will call the doc in the morning and ask him to please call them so they have the documentation.

Total time spent on this prescription so far…about five hours.

This might even be amusing if it was on television. I think I need massive amounts of red wine and 24 hours of Big Bang Theory playing on the telly.

Next episode?  The hospital bill. That one should be a scream.

Where Is The Magic

there were obvious signs
of planets aligned
as I stared into deep
time after time
for answers and clues
just a small bit of news
but the waters were muddled
my thinking befuddled
my magic was huddled
I was thinking and sinking
in depths with no blinking
just diving and weaving
the omens deceiving
I screamed I am leaving
but wait just one moment
one minute one second
I think that I see what
the spirits are sending
sight curving time bending
oh just stop pretending
we none of us knowing
just where we are going
we mostly are hoping
that slipping and sloping
are not just an ending
are not just pretending
and dreams are for holding
we will come through the dark
our way lighted by sparks
the magic was never for finding
or winding around to our will
it lived in our hearts
and it lives within still

Image credit
http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrr0f1nsZA1qj1ttwo1_500.jpg

Chronicles Part 1

velvet wings folded round
covering me with grace and peace
“Fear not. I am with you. Always”
Those words whisper
in my  heart and my shivering stops.

“Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.”  – Garrison Keillor

Ted Talks – Joe Sabia: The technology of storytelling

http://www.ted.com/talks/joe_sabia_the_technology_of_storytelling.html

I will have to research how to embed and try to get the video on here later.

Run For The Money

The Terrible Minds challenge this weekend was Three Sentences.  These may have been a bit long…

Ivy knew taking this case was a mistake but they needed the money which is never a good basis for decision making. Bishop promised double fees, but now that she was the prey instead of the hunter, she was seriously rethinking the whole monetary gain issue. The smell of rotting flesh was all around and she could hear feet slapping the wet pavement as she felt the stirring of the touch as Sam reached out to her.

Gratitude

The robins are back.
I thankfully pick my way, careful
to not disturb;
as though I mean anything to them;
as though they were there to welcome me.
A blackbird admonishes from his branch
as I pass below.
He knows how self-centered I am
and he laughs.
He would steal bright things from me
if I stopped paying attention.
We revel in the coolness.
The blackbird, the robins,
and I.

I somehow let a milestone pass.  This is my 1002nd post on this little internet island. I wish I had something deep and profound to say but I am simply grateful to have this place to set my thoughts, a crooked path that seems to circle back on itself and then wander to the edges, moving from shiny thing to shiny thing, folding and scribbling and peeking behind in case I miss a prize.  I am forever grateful to the wizard (Tony) for allowing me to perch here, making sure that the nest stays high in the branches away from predators. The magic that was cast at the beginning still holds though it is mercurial.  The world was there all along, but you left the door open, and I thank you.

Saturday Catch Up

okay. this just made me laugh.

It is so hot…I have been spending a lot of time indoors and in the process of cleaning out I have had a couple of revelations.

I have lived with fear that the internet would disappear. The piece of information that I read once and knew I would someday need to preserve the world, a life, the online safety of children or cure old age would just evaporate and as I have a very short memory, I would never be able to find that jewel again. The internet was a vast treasure of knowledge and if I could just save everything I thought might be useful someday, then my head would grow and new grooves would form in my brain and I would find the answer to life, the universe – EVERYTHING!

Then came the summer of cleaning out. It started with the move to the new high school. Granted, I am a black belt procrastinator and card carrying grand pooba of packrattiness. (I know it’s not a real word – get over it)

I tried to throw things out. I thought I was doing well. Proud of my new skill, I read (and printed out) articles on organization. I separated items and papers into piles of four and five years out of date (pitch) and two of three years out of date (take home to file and read later).

That was the summer before last! Flash forward to the present heat wave summer and I am trying to take my office back. After filling several large trash bags with paper I have had an epiphany. The internet is not disappearing but it IS changing. Not only is the internet changing, but my interests change as well. Faster and faster, it seems. My skill to work on this year is to ask myself two questions before I print or keep something (aside from the obvious value as opposed to environmental impact and ink expense). Do I want to store/file this item? (if so print and file it or find a home for it NOW) Will it be relevant or useful in six months?

Articles on getting organized? Here is a tip I will share with you. Throwing things away is a very good way to get organized. Even better? Don’t keep them to begin with. I seem to be stuck between a time when a family set of encyclopedias could be purchased when the kiddies headed for kindergarten and still be useable when until graduation. And the now when you can carry an entire reference library in your pocket. Papers would be filed in neat folders and sorted into a relevant order and stored in a room filled with metal file cabinets. Now files can be stored in the cloud and accessed where ever you have internet access. I need to make the leap into this century. I am NOT advocating destruction of personal data that should be backed up in hard copy and stored securely. NO, NO and NO. I do not advocate getting rid of books altogether. I have a collection of books that I cannot part with. The piles of paperbacks are slowly leaving though. Much of my reading is now done on a kindle or iPad. The kindle for novels, the iPad for more visual books.

I’m talking about the blog article that I don’t have time to read right now (Instapaper) or the notes from the convention session I attended (Evernote) or the presentation I am working on (Google Docs and Dropbox). Research for a project I am interested in (see above), longer PDFs that I want to read on a car trip (Calibre and my kindle of Dropbox and iBooks)

I have also been archiving computer files to an external hard drive. If I just can’t make myself delete it and I don’t think I will need it in the next few months – it goes on the external.

I learn best if I can write it down. I know that seems funny to hear about someone who does almost everything on computers but it is true. There is something about my wiring that just works best if there is a physical connection between my eye, brain, and fingers. I have five by seven notebooks (and a smaller one for my purse) that I keep and take notes in. I learned this summer than most four page articles can be distilled into one page of handwritten notes. When a notebook is full, it goes up on the book shelf in my office. Someday my children will look through those notebooks and wonder why in the world??? Hopefully someone will remember the heatwave in the summer of 2011 and know that I was just trying to be productive while staying cool.

I will NOT be printing this article.

Lonely Little Blog

This poor little blog has been a bit quiet.  We had most of the family here last weekend.  Dale’s birthday was Friday and his baby sister’s birthday was Saturday so we had a family celebration.  Friday night planetarium, Saturday all day on the square downtown for “April in Paris” art walk with dulcimer music and hit every antique store on the square.  Lunch at Paris bakery, cooked on the grill that night with some more family.  All but his oldest sister and her husband went home Sunday morning and we went to Gladewater for more antiquing and lunch.  The neighbor backed into my car which was parked on the street (go figure with seven cars and a pop-up camper in the front yard) but at least the police didn’t descend – we aren’t exactly a wild and crazy bunch.  It was a wonderful weekend.

I’ve been blogging a little at ebookocracy which is a new forum starting up and started a blog for the Paris Poets Society (which meets tonight at 7 P.M. at Vital Beet on the square – come join us!) and peering into the last of the school year – almost seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have two random students coming to the lab at odd moments to write and talk about writing. Neither are seniors so maybe next year I can get a little group interested in nanowrimo.  Even if nano doesn’t happen I discovered a little contest on the UIL site that one of them is going to try for – I am excited for her and for the interest in writing.

We dodged the storm bullet – they came through near us but nothing hit us to speak of though Dale’s sister and brother left here for Hot Springs with their camper and may have gotten wet!

Spring has sprung and the fever has hit.  I have a bad case of it myself.  Back to writing soon.

Short Video – Worth The Time

My Brain Is Too Tired To Write (Warning – whining inside…)

okay this was my day…
I arrived, went to the 2nd floor where the lab is, turned on my computer, opened the blinds, locked up my purse, went to the other end of the building to put my lunch in the refrigerator, went back to the other end of the building, downstairs to ask the secretary if she had any compressed air, checked on what my part needed to be in another lab where some testing was to take place, went to said lab where things were already in progress. went upstairs to the other end of the building for morning tutorials, went downstairs back to testing lab, things were okay so I went back to the other end of the building (after fixing a printer paper jam) to the office and got the ladder stopping off in another office to get a can of compressed air, took the ladder upstairs checked on my lab, went to the other end of the building and entered 8 classrooms (one at a time of course) setting up the ladder, removing the filter from the data projector on the ceiling and using said can of compressed air to clean the filter, re-installed the filter, moved on to the next one.  Took the ladder back to my lab (at the other end of the building) and checked email, created spreadsheet to keep track of data projector maintenance and entered data from jobs completed, sent email asking for list of audio/visual issues for a meeting on Friday, (somewhere in there I went with the tech guy to install a video card and cables for a computer in a room that just got a data projector, also discussed getting external speakers (researched and sent link to tech director) created spreadsheet for the audio/visual issue emails, checked on a teacher station that for some reason was not seeing network drives (put in a work order on it)
Ate lunch.
Went back upstairs, got ladder and can of compressed air, took it downstairs to other end of the building and did maintenance on 6 more projectors.  Checked email, added issues to audio/visual spreadsheet, entered completed jobs into maintenance spreadsheet.  Filled out timesheet (getting paid is kind of important), took a restroom break, got a PO, ran to walmart for some supplies (including more compressed air), came back to school, turned in receipt, took ladder back downstairs to supply closet, slid a printer that had arrived at the office into the conference room for the night (will need to get it set up in the classroom in the morning.

Now I am home. Supper, a glass of wine, a shower and bed.

Sheesh.

Fiction, Poetry or Both

I love to write…I love it more than anything else I do. It is cathartic, surprising, challenging, and deeply personal. It is also frustrating, scary, humbling, and a journey. I like to write fiction AND poetry but I can’t seem to do both at the same time. I don’t shift gears easily.

I wonder if anyone else writes both and experiences the same problem or if it is just the way my brain works. I have a story rolling around in my head right now and it seems to block the poetry side of my thoughts. If I am on a roll with poetry, I can’t seem to switch to fiction.

Can I do both?

I feel like I should have started years ago and now I am running to catch up. Is that part of the problem? I seem to run forward and then crawl backwards to read and take notes and figure out what I need to know to keep moving forward. I think I have a talent for it. I know there is so much I need to learn. I’ve jumped ahead and there is a lot of bad writing to do with the goal of becoming better.

Maybe I just need to slow down and relax a bit…slow down and take more time with each piece. I have been taking part in the local Poet’s Society and it is a whole new high, to get an immediate reaction to what I have written. It motivates me to write more and better. I’m still stuck…but I know it is temporary.

We Wait for Joy

Oh God ! You are a bird of the sky
and I am chained to earth
by the gravity of my soul.
I can barely gaze on the high
places where you have left
your footprints in the dew.
I feel you in the warm breeze
that moves across the grasses
where I walk in the morning,
though I would run like a child
to catch you; my steps are small
and the dandelions catch my eye.
I lie in the meadow and catch
your smile in clouds piled on
clouds, banked and traversing
heavens that make me wonder;
how did you think of blue?
You sparkle in the evening stars
as though the planets were
not enough. You scattered
gems like grains of sand to you,
and dressed the sky in your
finery.  A curtain drawn
across the heat of the sun you
give us rest and we wait for
you, for morning, for an end
to mourning
For flight.
For joy.

Photo Credit: This photo was taken by Timmie D. McEachern of Minden, Louisiana. He and my husband went to school together and recently reconnected through Facebook.  Timmie takes wonderful photos of local wildlife hopefully, with his permission, more will find their way to this blog.

see more pics here

Cleaned Up Family Conversation

Hubs: I hate this thing!
Me: What?
Hubs:  This stupid website.  If I have igoogle open as my home page and click on gmail (from inside igoogle) I can’t send anything!
Me: Just look at the top of the page and where it says gmail, click and open it in another tab.
Hubs: Why do I have to click something else?  It’s a pain in the butt. I’m calling google and gripe them out.
Me: I don’t think your finger will break out in a sweat if you click an extra button.
Daughter: Call the google!  “Operator?  Give me the google!” Wait. No, don’t.
Me: You’ll make the google mad!  That’s kind of like making a world power mad! (laughing)
Daughter: That’s kind of like pissing off 4chan.
Me: Who is 4chan?
Daughter: They are the internets.  They declared war on the Westboro Baptist Church for protesting funerals and stuff and shut down their website.
Me: Oh, so they use their powers for good?  We don’t want to piss them off then.
Hubs: I’m still calling google.

Weather

Mother nature seems to be unhappy – it is raining and the wind is gusting and snow is on the way – temps not going to get out of freezing til Friday.  I am most worried about power going out.  Hope everyone stays warm and off the roads.  Everything around here is closing so no school today and probably not tomorrow.

Commercial Life

A bit of a rant…
There is a commercial for the Toyota highlander that makes me angry every time it comes on television. In the commercial the kid calls parents lame for not having a fancy new car and then explains why his mom “gets it” because she has this vehicle and extols all the virtues of said piece of rolling metal. He feels sorry for the kid with the lame parents, who hides and delays walking to his dad’s car after school because he is ashamed of the car. I detest how they portray people, especially in a time when people are worried about having a job period. Food and health insurance issues, gasoline prices getting more ridiculous by the day, homes being repossessed, and parents should be made to feel ashamed if they don’t have a shiny new vehicle with all the bells and whistles? Kids should be shown in a way that says it is not only alright to disrespect your parents for not owning a particular THING but it is COOL! Evidently I am not alone. When I googled Highlander commercial I found there is even a facebook page for people who think the commercial sucks. That in itself seems to say something about our world. Sometimes you just have to shake your head.

I wouldn’t have one if they gave it to me…

Snow day is over and I was extremely unproductive. A lot of time was spent in pajamas in front of the fireplace. I watched Bonneville which was kind of sad but made me laugh and Life As a House which made me cry. Potato soup for lunch, omelets cooked by daughter for supper, a glass of wine and yes I believe I will take my kindle and head for bed. Back to the world tomorrow.

Moondreams

in dreams I fly
through dark and touch
the stars as I go by
a flick of wrist
and they go spinning
brushing clouds out
of my eyes and sighs
come knowing morning
is around the corner
but this night this one
dark dream goes on
past galaxies and
constellations cosmic
conflagrations causing even
scientists to pray the beauty
draws me on and in a
bed on earth a body
rests but heart and soul
have broken free and I will
curl around the moon and
touch the face that watches
over all each night and
learn the secret learn
the magic where the dreams
start when the sun goes
when the eyes close
I will know before I wake
and all the beauty I will
take along and on my
pillow in the dawn
bits of star and moonbeam
dust are all that’s left
except a feeling clinging at
the edges of my mind
that there is more
I reach to touch and dust
dissolves and floats away
on dust moat sunbeams
yawning I will sleep again
for journeys in the dark
are not a walk in any park
can’t be rubbed from sleepy eyes
and sighs and curling up
around my pillow moon will
wait and I will travel once again
when night returns

http://d.yimg.com/a/p/rids/20110107/i/ra2072116564.jpg?x=400&y=243&q=85&sig=Fs.98eLFYUTl249SWVHxew–

Sunday Scribblings

Sun Fall

AP picture prompt and Three Word Wednesday CCXXII plausible, taint, willingly

lit from within
bones of the earth
creak and groan
birth giving oceans of
fluid movement willingly
ripple across
the face of the deep
blackness smallest taint
of night
dawn made plausible
in moondreams by a
flame-washed crescendo
the audible sinking of the
day star
eventide melts
glowing tendrils winding
round and through tidal
encroachments caressing
sliding covering sands
of time of earth of life
smoothing rough edges
and making old new
at rest until
the new day
arises

New Blog “Fall-Fest Louisiana Style”

New blogger – friend that Dale went to school with, Timmie McEachern has started a photo blog with pictures of north west Louisiana in fall. This is a sample:

Fall-Fest Louisiana Style

Thanks Timmie – beautiful pictures!!