they say
it is the color of insanity
but I think that is envy
brash in your face
little piece of sun
though the grass may try
to choke you down
and hide you out
you stem from fertile soil
and crane your petals
for a better view
unaware
that we are looking
at you
image credit: unknown
We cannot move if we allow others to pull the strings.
We will just make shadows on the wall
until we realize that the bright horizon we wish for,
can only be reached if we are the ones piloting the ship.
We will never move in any direction.
It is by our own hands that we steer,
our own hope that lifts us above
the clouds that hide the sky,
our own breath that fills the sails.
Picture credit..
http://freshbump.com/bird-in-hand-a-ceiling-light-inspired-by-the-art-of-hand-shadows/
I am on target with word count but need to get myself a little bit ahead this weekend to make up for the times I will not be able to write. I have hit the wall a few times and the voices whisper. The say “there is no way you can do this” or worse, “you can finish the word count but you are boring and terrible. Your level of suckage is not even exciting enough to be terrible – it is just mundane.”
I hate the voices. I want them to be hit by a train. I want to be the engineer of that train and gleefully blow the whistle as I roll over the internal critics and laugh as I hear them gasp their last dying breath….I want to kick some negativity ass so hard that I break my toe and hop around cursing until I am mad enough to write again.
Okay. I am now over 18000 words and I am psyched up enough to write a good fight scene. I hope….Shut up voices. I can do this. I can.
At 6200 (and the day is not over) I am a bit behind on word count but I am ahead of where I was my first nano experience. My outline grows. I have added sections for characters and build on details as I get to know them. I have also added sections for details of places in the story to help me place the characters in them. I have a mostly complete map of the general story and beginning to break down the separate scenes.
I made myself a writing playlist in iTunes to stay in the mood and of course I have a supply of chocolate covered coffee beans.
Enough procrastinating! Jae and Aedan have not technically met as humans yet so I have to get them together. I could use a couple thousand more words tonight!
Creative Copy Challenge 190
The rock still held some warmth from the sun and I loved to come here to sit and watch the sunset. I couldn’t get enough of it. Even with the noise from the river, I felt a peace like nowhere else. I thought for the thousandth time, how grateful I was to Aunt Kathryn for leaving the cabin to me in her will. The more I learned about her from her journals and from tiny touches around the little house, the more I was sure I would have loved her.
My thoughts were interrupted by motion at the edge of my vision. I turned my head and there stood a wolf on my side of the river. I sucked in my breath and jumped off the rock and the wolf growled, front legs planted apart. It was beautiful and terrifying all at the same time.
Her movements were fluid. Why did I assume the wolf was a female? I was suddenly acutely aware of my surroundings. Nothing but trees, and the roar of the rapids would be loud enough to drown out my voice if I tried to shout for help. I took a slow step back. Her fur was standing up and I was close enough to see the delicate pink of her gums. Her lips were peeled back and the large canines glinted in the remaining light. Remaining light..it would be dark soon. No one would know I was gone until morning when the shop remained closed. Great.
“Look. I don’t mean you any harm. Nice doggie?”
The wolf growled, deep and menacing. I could swear she was angry. What a crazy thing to think. She was closer and she was big. I took another step and she growled again, tracking my movement. I was sweating in the cool air. I felt ridiculously clumsy and slow. Her eyes seemed intelligent and I knew I was in danger.
The almost ebony wolf suddenly jerked her head up. Something was behind me. I slowly turned my head and saw a huge brown wolf. I would be dinner for two.
Instead of both of them attacking me, the brown wolf leaped around me and stood between me and the female. This was the wolf I had seen watching me from the other side of the river. He growled and stepped forward until he was just a few feet from the black wolf, a rumbling sound coming from his throat the whole time. The female held her ground for a moment and then lowered her head. The brown wolf continued to growl until she laid down and exposed her throat. I could do nothing but stare in fascination. He nipped at her and she rolled and rose to her feet and with a look back at me, turned and loped off. My rescuer turned and sat down in front of me. I was frozen in place.
When my heart stopped pounding so hard that I was sure he could hear it, I sunk to the ground. This was crazy. Why wasn’t I running?
I tried to speak and nothing came. I swallowed and tried again.
“Thank you.”
The wolf just stared at me. I lowered my head just like the female wolf did. He seemed almost to nod, stood and walked away.
I managed to stand and turned toward home, my legs shaking. I made it home with no more trouble, let myself in the door and threw the deadbolt.
I turned on every light in the house. It was going to be a while before I could sleep.
The first time I did nanowrimo I was a total “pantser” meaning I just dove in and began writing. I had an idea but not a plan. This year I am working with an ever-evolving outline following “The Hero’s Journey. I am reading Plot and Structure by James Scott Bell and Story Engineering by Larry Brooks as I write, trying to wrap my head around everything. I have the word goal in the back of my head but it will not be my main goal this year. My main goal is to have a workable START when I am finished. Something that tells a cohesive story, and follows a sort of map so that I can concentrate on the writing and not figuring out where it is going or how to write myself out of a corner or how do I fix the huge hole in my plot.
This is not to say that things can’t change. Sometimes characters get a mind of their own and if one decides to go a different direction I am giving myself permission to follow them.
I am self taught so I am looking at the challenge like this: The first year, I was a freshman. Annoying but cute – people would pat me on the head and wish me luck with my “novel”. It was a horrible, wonderful, exciting, terrifying experience and I was proud at the end that I finished period. I wrote FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS! They might have been horrible and stilted and lost in the swamp of a poor plot and wooden characters, and confuse storyline – but I learned a lot and I accomplished something (mostly a big stack of tree-killing paper and a tee-shirt)
This year I enter as a sophomore. I look at the annoying little freshman and smile, remembering when I was one but I am ever so much more mature now… I will learn more about the process and use a fluid map to make sure I have an idea of where I am going. I give myself permission to NOT have a great novel at the end, but to have something BETTER than I did last time. Even if I do not make the word count. I will do all this while working full time, cooking for Thanksgiving, planning for Christmas, and dealing with all of the daily challenges.
So folks, there you have it. My nanowrimo manifesto.
I have included a general portrayal of The Heroes Journey and how it fits with three act structure. Those of you who already know this stuff can ignore me and roll your eyes. If you are a junior or senior this is not news to you – if like the rest of us you are a freshman or sophomore you may think you have just discovered your own magic elixir.
ACT ONE
1. The Ordinary World - hero introduced in their normal setting
2. Call to Adventure – everything is about to change whether the hero knows it or not
3. Refusal of Call/Reluctant Hero – for whatever reason, the hero refuses the call
4. Meeting Wise Mentor – Hero is committed to the quest and a mentor shows up
5. The First Threshold – Hero leaves their normal world into the unknown
ACT TWO
6. Tests, Allies and Enemies – trials, a series of tests, tasks, or ordeals that hero must undergo to begin transformation. Often the person fails one or more of these tests, which often occur in 3s.
7. Supreme Ordeal – person’s lowest point or darkest moment, chance for major change or “rebirth”
8. Revisiting the Mentor – hero revisits teachings if mentor or maybe learns from a new one, returns to the path
ACT THREE
9. Return with New Knowledge – Wisdom gained on the quest, integrated into hero’s life
10. Seizing the Sword (or Prize) Hero defeats enemies, overcomes issues,
11. Resurrection – old self “dies” (physically, spiritually?)
12. Return with Elixir – achievement of the goal of the quest
I am posting this to make my commitment more ahem, public (in other words to shame myself into not finding excuses to NOT do this!)
Creative Copy challenge 189
1. Shy
2. Ground
3. Luck
4. Treat
5. Touch
6. Face
7. Desire
8. Need
9. Urgent
10. Done
I was angry. I wanted them out of my head. I didn’t ask for this and I was damned if I was going to just roll over and do what they wanted. I ran across the frozen ground, down through the ravine to Simons’ house. He had the touch. He could help me. He would know what needed to be done, how to treat this thing.
I slipped on the icy rocks. This urgent desire for answers was making me careless. Even a wolf can run out of luck up here.
“Jae, wait!” I could hear him in my mind but I ignor him. He thought I was just shy. Shy! After what the rogue did to me! I would face them down. Every last one of them. I wanted my family back. I wanted my life back! I could see a glow. Simon would have a fire going on this cold night and I needed to be behind closed doors in front of that fire before Aedan caught up with me.
Creative copy Challenge 188
If he has the collywobbles
and he hobbles after rabbits
chasing silly pretty baubles
you should never feed him holly
tea from kat is a bad habit
if he slowly coughs up furballs
like a silly willy kitty cat
and tries to wear a turtle
for a winter doggie hat
then the cure will just be slower
you can bet the hat on that
riffing off Vivien Shipley with a little Dr. Seuss thrown in.
I envy those
who plan and walk
with measured steps
and measured speech
at peace with their lives
would that I could
slow the heart
move with purpose
and grace
stop making noise
instead
I flail like a clumsy child
learning to paddle
in the shallows
going nowhere fast
just trying to stay afloat
inspired by “I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.” Audre Lorde
I shall wonder tomorrow
what happened yesterday
I won’t remember the answer
to the question I didn’t ask
it’s hurricane season in my mind
and who knows where
that will make landfall
these things are hard to predict
you know
there are traps hidden in
deep water
so I try to stay on the edges
but sometimes time
washes over me
in waves of contusions
and sandy abrasions
I need a commercial break
from worrying at the ache
at the bones of the river washed
conversations rehashed
words lashed out and sparking
no parking in the red zone
in case of a fire
like negative and positive
we keep dancing around it
never making contact
iron filings arrayed in
magnetic patterns sashayed
in and out and around
but never ever touching
Written for Creative Copy Challenge 187
Jae ran through the catacombs making decisions on twists and turns based on memories. She had lived here in human form before she met Aedan. Weathering the change from the forest to this place had made them both nearly catatonic. She missed the woods and the smell of snow on mountains. With the advent of Lucia’s reign, they were no longer safe.
Jae heard Aedan in her head. “Hmmmph, I could have kept up just fine in human form!”
Jae sped into a tunnel on the left. “Relax, your virility was never in question. I knew you would follow my scent and we would make better time.”
“Are we getting close?” Aedan made one erroneous step and slid through something gelatinous. “What the??”
“These are tombs, Aedan.” The stench assaulted her delicate nose.
She could hear faint growls ahead. “Almost there.” She hoped that would placate him. She heard a crunching noise behind her and turned to look. Aedan had disappeared. Jae skidded to a stop and carefully retraced her steps. She heard Aedan whine. She looked over the edge of a jagged hole. Rotten dirt covered boards had given way as Aedan crossed.
“Aedan!” The wolf moaned.
“Aedan don’t change. Hold on, I’ll get help!” Jae took off down the tunnel toward the barking sounds. After a series of barks the pack followed her back to where Aedan lay, now very still.
“Aedan, I’m coming!” All around the tunnel sounds echoed as the fur disappeared and flesh and bone remolded itself. Jae had always been able to change quickly and she was the first to assume human form. She looked around and one of the pack ran up with rope in his mouth. She tied it around her waist as the last wolf changed. The walls were not smooth. She could see dark places that looked like side caverns. Ryall took hold of the rope and nodded at her as he passed the rest of the rope behind him. Anchored by the rest of the pack, Jae started the climb down to Aedan. He was whining again and Jae hoped that meant his wolf form was helping to heal.
Safely at the bottom of the passage, Jae knelt next to the wolf. She felt for breaks and was relieved to find none. She stroked his fur. “Aedan, come on. We made it!” Aedan opened his eyes and nosed her hand.
“Can you stand?” Jae moved away a little. Aedan struggled to his feet, whining.
“Is he okay?” Ryall and the rest of the pack looked down at them. Jae nodded her head and then realized it was probably too dark for them to see her.
“I think so but I’m not sure I can get him back up. We’ll try one of the side passages down here and find you.”
Ryall tossed a sack down to her.
“Thanks Ryall! Thanks all of you! Wait in the hall and we’ll meet you later! ” Jae found a torch in the sack along with an apple and a freshly killed rabbit. Ryall knew Aedan would need to eat. Healing took a lot of energy. The apple was for her. She put the rabbit down in front of Aedan and sat down by the wall to eat her apple. Glancing around, she wondered why they had never found this place when she was here with her family. Remembering her family made her sad. Aedan made quick work of the rabbit and Jae brushed herself off.
“Ready?” Jae nodded her head at the side cavern and Aedan started walking. Jae took a last thoughtful look. It seemed innocuous but she shivered anyway. She knew from experience that death lurked in more than the ancient coffins. She wished she could see the moon.
Creative Copy Challenge 186
Happiness is as light
and fleeting as feathers
in the wind
beautiful and hard to hold
as bright stars
too high to reach
but we try anyway…
We are on fire
strive for diamonds
find them perched
on sharp horns
that cut us leaving us
skewered and bleeding
in the grass
staring at the blue sky
watching hope float by
from here the grass
a soft quilt of warmth
for the earth wrapped
around clay knees
holding the skin
of a planet together
if I lay on my belly
look closely each spike
the quilt unravels
millions of pieces
growing so close
with one purpose
fed by the body
pointing to a bright sky
bearing the seeds
of a new generation
bearing witness
a tree dances in sea wind
arms akimbo
hearing a song
melody of breath
with the rhythm
of seasons spinning
out a tale of moon
and sun and wisdom
rooted deep in rings
of joyful abandon
loving the air
waiting as it has always waited
the sea sits beyond
beyond the edge of the grass
beyond the reach of the tree
cupped in muddy hands
overflowing with the
memories of creation
that give birth to the rain
that feeds the grass
that holds the earth
that cradles the tree
Here I would sit
Written for Creative Copy Challenge 185 Loquacious, Sedentary, Artistic, Voracious, Fluorescent, Rad, Delicious, Rotund, Decapitate, Slimy
and thanks to Wordnik – Word of the day – Soucouyant!
Henry thought the party tiresome. Being stuck in a corner with a loquacious youth who seemed to think “rad” was an actual word, was not his idea of a good time.
“These little crackers are rad!”
“Isn’t the Dean’s home rad?”
I should have wacked her with my cane.
He only accepted the invitation because he had heard that the Dean of the university had quite an artistic flare and stories of the beautifully decorated home and delicious fare had been spoken of in awed tones at his gentleman’s club. Henry had lived a sedentary life and was a bit on the rotund side. He walked with mincing steps, skirting the slimy puddles. The fluorescent street light shone on his balding pate. He poked at a piece of paper with his cane and glanced around uneasily.
The night was warm and humid and Henry was sweating as he turned away from the lights, down his quiet street. The house mother had left him was in need of a few repairs but it wasn’t his fault that his investments hadn’t paid off the way he had expected. Henry had an astute mind and a flair for finance. How could he foresee the market going soft?
He shivered slightly, even in the heat. It must have been the tale told by the Dean’s sister. A disturbing woman with wild hair and clothing that was far too bright. Her eyes glittered and made Henry’s heart pound in the most disconcerting way. She spoke with an accent and claimed to have traveled from the West Indies. Even her name was exotic…Valencia. Henry didn’t much care for exotic people or places. He preferred his own home, his daily newspaper, and his morning tea at he same time every day. He pulled his handkerchief from his jacket pocket and mopped his forehead. He walked quickly now. The shadows were deeper and the usually comforting lane seemed menacing. He heard an echo of footsteps somewhere behind him. He thought again about the story of the soucouyant – an old woman who could turn to a fireball and slip through your keyhole and suck your blood, either turning you into her kind or killing you so she could wear your skin and pursue more victims. What a lot of rot. Henry chuckled at his nervousness. Too much rich food made for crazy thoughts.
He could see his home just a few doors down and he nearly stumbled in his haste. He remembered the strange woman extending her hand to him as he made his goodbyes. She smiled at Henry.
“You are not superstitious?”
Henry frowned and pulled his hand from her grasping fingers.
“No I am not. Nothing but a bunch of silly tales made up by uneducated people trying to explain the world.”
She smiled again and the glare from the lamps glinted off her teeth. Henry felt the room spin and drew back. Surely a trick of the lights…She licked her lips.
“There are many things in the world – terrifying things with voracious appetites that cannot be explained.” She patted his cheek. Henry had been backing up slowly and jumped when his back touched the door.
“Ggggood evening madam!” Henry stammered and turned to escape into the night.
Now as the conversation came back to him he kept seeing those shiny teeth. He nearly stumbled as he hurried up the front steps and let himself in, throwing the deadbolt behind him.
He shook himself and sighed in relief.
I am being ridiculous! A glass of brandy and then bed!
Henry took off his shoes and set them next to the door, putting on his slippers. He poured a glass of brandy and sat in his leather chair with the lamp spilling cheerful light around him. A combination of nerves and the brandy (and a very full stomach) made him sleepy and he soon dozed off. Henry was snoring when the front door lock began to glow. A bright ball of fire flowed through the keyhole and Henry jerked awake in time to see the flames shimmer and fade until the form of Valencia stood before him. His lamp dimmed and just before the room was plunged into darkness, Henry screamed at the sight of those bright white teeth. Henry stopped screaming as the vampire jaws nearly decapitated him.
The soucouyant would have to wear her own skin another day.
I’m drowning in
tomato soup
I’ve paddled fast
and furious
but can’t escape
the goop
the eyes, the flies
are watching me
and will not
let me out
I pray that they
don’t fill the spoon
and snort me
through their snout!
Image source: http://wallpapers.free-review.net/12_~_My_plate.htm
Written for 3 Word Wednesday
Celia took a sip of wine and stepped back to admire her handiwork.
“Perfect! Look how your eyes follow the natural direction of color on the wall. Maybe one last piece…”
Tom stared, eyes glazed over. She held her fingers up in a square, squinting a little to get just the right perspective.
“Right there on the left I think…”
She set her glass down on the coaster and bent down to pick up the gun. She put one hand under her wrist to support the weight and aimed at the left side of his head, gently squeezing the trigger. His head jerked just a tiny bit from the impact. Celia smiled at the tableau.
She turned off the stereo, washed glass and returned it to the cupboard and wiped her fingerprints from the gun, placing it in Tom’s hand.
Celia paused at the door for one last look, glanced at her hair in the mirror, turned out the light and headed for the parking garage humming Ravel’s Bolero. These breakups just got better and better.
3 Word Wednesday Word choices: admire, follow, piece
there are doors
that keep us safe
and doors that
keep us near
and doors to worlds
we wish to see
down paths
so dark and drear
we cannot see
around the bend
the future all unknown
and yet we walk
without a map
and hope
to make it home
all must walk
the path alone
though married
young or old
a hand may make
for comfort now
staving off
the cold
but to the world
we come alone
and leave the
very same
pass through the
veil of sorrow here
leave words
our only fame
image credit: Carmen Spitznagel
Rowan examined the pages of the codex for the third time. The words blurred and rambled over the page. She pushed her hair off her face and wished for a breeze. The fire burned hot enough to make satan uncomfortable but a shiver ran through her, chilling her blood til it felt gelid and swollen in her heart.
“If I don’t do this, Aidan will die. If I don’t do this right, I will die.” she thought. Neither choice was acceptable. She had walked all day after visiting the old woman in the cave. Most of her advice was nothing but headology and that might work on the poor folk in the valley who were ignorant of the true path. Rowan needed real magic tonight and real magic demanded blood. She had a catheter ready to insert into her own vein and prayed for the resilience to follow through. She sighed and read the page one more time.
“Defenestrate? Why didn’t it just say throw it out the window?” She sighed half from frustration and half from exhaustion.
When she had drained the required amount of blood from her own arm, she applied herbs and a clean cloth to close the wound. She was ready for the incantation.
gizzards and feathers
shall be mixed with the blood
for reincarnation
needs more than mud
twice to the left
thrice to the right
at gibbous moon
in pale dead light
Aidan moaned on the cot and opened his eyes.
“Shazam” He smiled weakly at her.
“Shut up fool” Rowan’s knees gave out and she sank down beside him.
“You owe me seven chickens!”
codex
defenestrate
gizzard
headology
gelid
catheter
reincarnation
shazam
resilience
burn
phew, that was a tough one…
Murat11 Jae Rose Thom Gabrukiewicz Teleread Wordnik TERRIBLEMINDS: Chuck Wendig, Freelance Penmonkey Writers Alley KindleObsessed
