A year ago today Dale was in the hospital at the beginning of the worst summer of our lives. Tomorrow we go for his first round of tests for kidney transplant which means we are back where we started a year ago. He is stronger and in better shape that I would have ever thought he would be after the peritonitis. His spirit and his sheer hardheadedness is amazing. Our first appointment is at 8:20 in the morning which means we will leave the house at about 5:30. The last appointment is at 3:20 and we have to go to a total of three different facilities during the course of the day. They are predicting rain and I am hoping the worst of it will pass us – I’m not terribly comfortable driving in Dallas (especially when I am going to places I have never had to find before) and I’m definitely not comfortable driving in storms so I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

I shouldn’t complain at all – I’m not the one who will be poked, prodded, and x-rayed all day. We will spend part of the day in a transplant education class so I’ll be moving to the next chapter of everything you never wanted to know about kidney failure and were afraid to ask. I’m praying for no bad surprises. If he is told he cannot have a transplant it means a life sentence of dialysis which means for him 4 hours a day three days a week being hooked to a machine that filters your blood. It means feeling really crappy those days. It means having to be on a very strict diet, being more susceptible to all kinds of serious illness. If that is the verdict we’ll deal. If he gets the green light the next step will be having his sisters tested to see if one of them can be a donor. If not we get on the list and stay prepared for a phone call.

We will appreciate prayers – we’ve been blessed throughout all of this and part of me knows that those blessings will continue, The other part of me is weak and worries and gets very cranky and stressed. I wish I could be that person that everyone admires for their strength and grace. Unfortunately I happen to be a big bundle of crybaby nerves instead, who takes it out on the kids, or tries to stay busy to try to outrun it.

Okay – enough whining. We will do this just like you eat an elephant – one bite at a time. I’m turning in early – that alarm clock is not going to be my friend tomorrow!