Sunday Scribbling #245 prompt: limits and AllPoetry contest entry.
the big freaking ocean
teeming boiling roiling with
aeons and beyonds of living
giving birth to the all of alls
and called to waves and tides
by moons and soon as I can beat
feet to the beach and stick my
toe in that salty soup I’m gonna
surf the turf the earth is
covered by the plankton growing
brightly colored blue and green
the stars live there and I will too
ripping off the veil, veneer that
separates us from the deep the sleep
of fishes wishes seahorse riding
food providing current gliding
diving deeper deeper still and
soon I will when I can break this wall
this glass that keeps me holds me
separates me from the real
the wall that lets me see not touch
but one of these days the ways
will be the crazy crazy hang up
hang out break out take me out
let me loose I want to swim just
dive right in and be a part not
in this jar that keeps me out
or in no matter how you spin it
I will win it swim in with the life
the streams the lakes
the seas the ocean
the big deep ocean
Image Credit: http://ahermin.deviantart.com/art/Ink-Sea-52166212
This was deep indeed. Stopping by from SS.
Happy Blogging! 🙂
Lovely swooshing and flowing..you really got in that water of words and swam ..that little fishie in the bag is adorable..isn’t life just like that? Jae 😉
love the ocean view in your work here.
you have got talent here, welcome to attend poets rally week 35, where you share your poetry and make new poetic friends…poetry awards are assigned upon completion.
let me know when you are ready.
I think I am – not sure what I am ready for – crazy busy week 🙂
oh gosh – manners!! Thank you!
I think a lot of thought and deliberation went into this piece and I appreciate the creativity that you conjured in writing this piece.
Love the continuous flow and the pealing back of the veils to find what is real.
some tight wordplay here. the ocean is such a well of inspiration…
You are very talented indeed–I really enjoyed reading this.
I had a smile on my face from beginning to end
Amazing flow and wordplay, I like the beat!
Great style. Really interesting.
Just as the waves, the ocean has multitudes of meanings in your poem… loved the flow… amazing:-)
love the line the ‘big freaking ocean’ its nice and direct and grabs attention contrasting with some of the softer imagery….some fun running rhymes too, great stuff.
how are you?
let me know after you are done:
#1: return favor to poets who are here,
#2: commented for 18 poets NEW to you,
Thanks form the contribution!
I like the whimsical rhyming and the feel of waves that kept hitting me as I read.
I actually really liked the intense, relentless and almost frantic rhythm here. The internal rhyme avoids triteness (which is a relief).
That made me want to go see the ocean. I loved the rhythm, it reminded me of the ocean. Quick, hurried, frantic even. Splashing, rollicking, beautiful.