Never Count On a Thelosian

Sunday Scribbling: Weird

Three Word Wednesday Fondle, Sumptuous, kick

something new


Rand mashed buttons furiously on the thin-walled iridescent communicator.  Somebody needed to extricate him and send in a clean up crew NOW, dammit!  If they didn’t get here in the next few minutes they were gonna need the clean up crew for him!  He felt the familiar uncomfortable limb-jerking marionette feeling that told him someone had found the right code and frequency and finally pushed the correct sequence to get him out of this God forsaken rut of a city.  If he never came back here again he would be fine, thanks.  His limbs started to jerk and he watched his own fingers disappear and then fade back in as he was plopped down in the middle of who knew what planet. He heard a crackle coming from the chip embedded in his ear lobe.

He looked around, hoping the crackle wouldn’t turn into a full blown diatribe before he got his bearings.  Emergency extrication was not an exact science.  Last time Rand found himself in a warren of alleys that led nowhere and everywhere you don’t want to go.  Mutants huddled in corners beckon with their thoughts, wraiths with their pale skin and green eyes glowing in the dark.  The only thing that kept him from succumbing to their siren song stretching tendrils into his brain was Darling on the other end of the communicator singing ballads to him.  Rand had no idea how Darling got her name, but he’d been more than a little in love with her ever since that day.  As long as he worked for The Asylum, he wanted her on the other end of this tenuous connection.

“Rand? Where the hell are you?”  Rand looked around.  He had come maybe two blocks and there seemed to be no one around. Come to think of it, that was strange in itself.  It was some sort of city.  The hindu-temple like buildings towered hundreds of feet over him and looking up, he could see they had sky rails.  Now what.  After the mess on Thelos, he needed to get the artifact back to the office.  “I have no idea Darling.”
“Well visuals on and I’ll see what I can dig up.”
Rand described the buildings to her.  “No life forms yet. Oops, wait!” Rand squeezed into the shadows as two very large, very blue, somethings passed by.  There was communication but mostly a series of grunts and squeaks.  Nothing he could process or that his translator recognized.  He flipped his eye piece down and tracked them and a little of the skyline and clicked to send vid to Darling.  “Okay, I have you.  You’re in the capital city on Lumor and they do not take kindly to unregistered visitors from off planet.  Give me a few secs and I’ll have data and bring you in.”

Rand was more than ready to be back.  Thelos was supposed to be drop in, meet up, and bring a package out.  Unfortunately someone must have been eavesdropping on trans because when he arrived, not only was that slimy Arthen there with his nasty dreads and sulphurous body odor, but in burst members of a rival faction and he had to leave the extraction area on foot.  Arthen was shooting his way out and screaming at Rand for payment as Rand ducked out the back and yelled at Darling to get him out of there.

Now he was on a planet with nothing but unfriendly giant smurfs and an artifact that was wanted throughout this part of the galaxy.  The universe was getting entirely too small for Rand.  His face was known on at least a dozen planets and he was banned from a few.  He didn’t want to add another one to the list.  He fondled the chip in his pocket.  This would bring a pretty price and he was more than ready for a sumptuous dinner and time to kick back with all that the credits from this sale would bring him.  First he had to get home alive. “Darling, my love!  Come get me!”

“Oh man, now I’m in for it!”  The two blue giants must have heard something because they were rounding the corner with a device in their hands that did NOT look friendly.  One of them fired just as Rand felt himself fading.  Seconds later he was staring up into Darling’s green eyes.

“Rand, you look like hell.”

“Love you too, Darling.”

26 thoughts on “Never Count On a Thelosian

  1. old egg

    I used to be so hooked on science fiction. I think you have lured me back, I have just one small doubt – are you an alien?

    Loved it and laughed at it!

  2. Anonymous

    I bet you watched “Time Tunnel” on the T.V. when you were a kid, and “Lost in Space” Hehehe.

  3. lion chiller

    whoops! wrong planet! please don’t extricate me, I am a piece of a meteorite!

    (that was me, as anonymous)

  4. Dee

    Old Egg – it depends on who you ask 🙂
    Linda – I loved those shows when I was young – and the Twilight Zone! I still love a good sci fi story whether it be tv, movie, or book.
    Lion Chiller – as long as you’re not kryptonite 🙂
    Jae Rose – gracias!
    Crafty Green Poet – thank you and welcome! Same to you Catherine!

  5. Lisa

    Sounds like a great adventure to me and not at all weird. Why the very same thing happened to me only yesterday… Great writing. Kept me entertained throughout!

  6. Dee

    Lisa – where are you hanging out girl??

    Tumblewords – glad you were entertained even if it isn’t your thing. You know when you were a kid and got your very first BIG box of colors? I’m talking the one that had the built in sharpener and all the exotic names like magenta and burnt sienna? You had to try them all, even if they weren’t your favorite. That’s me, just trying out all the colors. Maybe if I mix them just right I’ll even invent a new one 🙂

  7. present

    Everyone should have a Darling, eh? I know I’d like one or at least a Scotty to beam me up and out when the going gets rough! Great story!

    1. Dee

      My anti-matter ray was on the blink so I wrote myself to another place, but yes I wish we all had a Darling, or a Scotty, or an easy button, or an undo button, or at least a parachute and a towel 🙂

  8. Kate

    I loved this! I seldom read sci fi and loved your comment about the big box of crayons. I really want to know more about Lumor and the blue inhabitants with their towering Hindu temples.

    1. Dee

      It was great fun to go to Thelos and Lumor and the big blue guys made Rand nervous but I thought they would have made great stuffed toys. Thanks for the visit and you can borrow a crayon from me anytime!

  9. missalister

    This was terrific! Thoroughly entertaining, maximally enjoyable. I love it when you talk future talk, Dee ; ) You make it look so easy, like just another day these days. I think you got it down, the science of extricating your readers. Loved the mutants huddled and beckoning with their thoughts and Darling and the very big and blue somethings, the unfriendly smurfs. And oh, how dear, the nasty dreads and sulpherous B.O.! I needed a better transition from “…come get me!” to “Oh man, now I’m in for it!…” but I totally dug the ending. This is a love story I can love, my friend. Excellent : )

    1. Dee

      We just take different routes in our escape, you and I, A. You dive down headfirst – drink it in, study the pieces and spit it back out for us all to see and feel. That takes guts.

      I leave the planet altogether.

  10. MichaelO

    That was way cool! I enjoy sci-fi, but I could never imagine creating it. I guess I’m too epimethean for that. I guess I had a WTF moment at the fade out too. It’s a nit, I still like it.

    1. Dee

      Added a little to fix the ending, maybe? Sheesh Michael – had to look up epimethean. Still not clear on it but I’m glad you liked the story LOL

      1. MichaelO

        Haha! Orzekian for: hindsight is 20/20. Epimetheus is the Greek god of hindsight. I tend to blather on about ancient history, to some measure. Sci fi is typically formulation of the future. That feels like fly paper to me….

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