Even Wolf Girls Get the Blues
The Writers Book of Days prompt for July 13 is Write about a theft.
This blog is my journal so I remind myself here that I have my own permission to suck as much as I want as long as I write something.
Wolf Fear
Jae curled herself up into a tight ball, pushed as far into the corner as she could get. Small, hidden. Her inability to make a decision and her fear of confrontation had lead her to this moment.
She had let life happen to her. Every decision made first by her parents, then Simon, and now the pack. Aedan. Everyone told her what was right for her. Jae go here. Jae hunt there. Jae do the right thing. Right for who?
Now she was hiding in a corner in Simon’s cabin like a child afraid of the dark. Simon was gone with a promise to return in two weeks. She couldn’t even be alone without someone giving her permission! She took what was offered because she needed time to think. Too much too fast. She was learning to hunt and there had been such a feeling of freedom with the pack. At first. Then the fighting began. The tension built until Aedan took her on a walk one morning and through pictures in her head, showed her herself as his mate. Everything crashed in on Jae at once and she ran until exhausted she found herself on Simon’s porch.
Simon! How could he do this to her. She snarled at him when he opened the door. Angry or not, she was horrified at what she had become. She could have…well she didn’t even want to think about it. She backed off the porch and Simon shut the door. He waited until she had calmed down, then told her through the door that he would set clothing outside and when she was changed and dressed he would be waiting inside.
The door open a crack and a pile of clothing appeared on the porch. The door shut again. When Jae was human and dressed, she opened the door. Simon was sitting in his rocking chair waiting. Jae stopped in the middle of the room and stared at him with her fists clenched. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Simon sighed. “Tell you what?”
“Tell me that I would be forced to choose a mate! Jae started pacing. “A wolf stole my humanity. A wolf stole my family from me. I can’t go home! Now my choices for the rest of my life are being stolen too!
“Maybe you better explain a little about what happened. I am not a wolf, Jae. I don’t know the inner working of everything.” Simon spoke in a clam quiet voice and waited for her to answer. Jae realized that she was shaking and sweating and took a deep breath. She didn’t need to change while she was in the house with Simon and her anger had her feeling more wold than person. She closed her eyes for a moment until she felt she had control again.
“I can’t just hunt with the pack when I feel like it and then come back and be human here. I don’t understand it myself but Aedan told me that unattached females can cause the entire pack to become unstable. If I want to hunt with them I have to choose a mate! Jae’s voice rose on the last word and she started pacing again. “I haven’t even had time to get used to being a wolf and now I’m supposed to be a wife too?”
Simon closed his eyes in thought. “It seems to me that what you are needing from me is time alone to think some things through.” He opened his eyes and waited until she stopped pacing and looked at him. “I have never lied to you Jae. I’ve never intentionally left anything out. It is what it is. I can try to give help, but I can’t change anything. I wish could.”
Jae looked at Simon and knew he was being honest with her. She could see in his eyes that he hurt for her. She bowed her head. “I’m sorry. I’m so angry and I don’t know what to do! Maybe you’re right. I need time to think.”
Simon stood and began packing things in a sack. “I’ve needed to take a little trip for awhile. It will give you time. You are safe here and welcome to stay. I will be back before the next full moon.”
“Simon. Thank you and…I’m sorry.”
Simon took her hand. “You have been strong and I am proud of you. I have dealt with Aedan before. He is a fair man and will answer your questions. There must have been trouble in the pack for him to just throw this at you..”
Jae frowned. “I’ve never met him in human form.”
“Then maybe that is the answer.” Simon kissed her forehead. “Take care child.”
Jae was alone. That night the howling started. They were all around the house. She could hear the clicking of their claws on the porch and they banged into the door. She put out the lantern so they couldn’t see her and allowed her eyesight to adjust. She rocked herself with her arms wrapped around her knees. “Go away, go away, go away.” She whispered.
Just about the time Jae thought she would lose her mind, she heard growling and the sound of fighting. There were yelps of fear and pain and then silence. At first the silence was a relief. Then fear began to grow. Would they come back? What stopped them?
That was how she found herself in this corner. Trying to hide from her life. Angry and frozen inside.
For More Wolf Moon stories go here
Permission to suck? Please. This story is gorgeous and don’t think for a minute that you are writing it: it is writing you.
I know: you’d been away for awhile, and all that white space was a little scary.
um scary? Yeah – more like chest hurt, hyper-ventilate panic
And now I see you are running the marathon again. Molto bene!
Prayers for your brother.